First of all:

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today would be your 72nd birthday.

I hope you are doing well, celebrating and eating a lot of cake in heaven with the other uncles and aunties who have passed away in recent years.

I know that your death was freeing you from all of the pain you were suffering, physically and emotionally. I just wish you were still alive when I marry the love of my life. (Whenever this is going to happen)

“I am just holding back my tears while being in a co-working space writing this letter. (Luckily, there is no one here).”

The Lost Ark of Modern Men. (Why men need to become more “feminine”)

The death of my father was the worst thing that ever happened in my life.

Not only the grief, but also the situation that happened over the 2 years afterwards.

He was the shield that protected me from pain and suffering, and he was the only source of unconditional love I received to this day.

Through this wall breaking, my life got flooded with pain, problems, suffering and this deep feeling of loneliness.

Instead of being focused on coping with the grief alone, I needed to build a new business by myself, earn money to be able to move out of my mum’s place (which took 2 years) and cope with the related family problems of three unregulated family members in my life, which I was seeing every single day…

But simultaneously, the death of my father opened me up to the experience of being able to feel my emotions, because I had no other option.

I was forced to connect to my emotions and turn my pain into gold.

And I successfully achieved this, in my opinion, but it took 2 years.

The uncomfortable truth and the main point of this newsletter is:

That the depth of 95-99% of men is hidden, because most men’s lives nowadays are too comfortable

And this deep sense of purpose comes from a man suffering, hitting rock bottom and then transforming this pain into beauty, art and creation.

Without pain, a man will not discover this emotional side within. Life feels shallow to him, and he stays addicted to pleasure.

Look at men in the past.

They had depth. The philosophers, the painters, the writers.

Now look at most men nowadays. They are bored. Their lives feel shallow. They work a job they hate. Their bodies look like a stick or a round potato.

And this loss in art, beauty, love and creation is why women feel unsafe, why relationships break and why the world became shallow, empty, uncreative and addicted to money.

The 3 Archetypes of Modern Men

There are two types of problematic modern men:

1. The “narcissistic”, shallow, money addicted, status addicted asshole. (”Toxic Masculine”) But often successful…
2. The “loser”, who can’t get their shit together, is overweight and soft like a jelly. (The “feminine” men)

And there is a third type of men.

A man who did the work, a pain introduced by the source of creation, providing him with pain and challenges, where he was able to transform this pain and suffering into creation, into the lost ark of modern men.

He doesn’t need to show proof or force himself.

He flows like water and creates without any attachment, without needing money and external motivation to create art.

• He doesn’t need external proof that he is worth it.
• He doesn’t need multiple women to feel confident.
• He doesn’t need guidance from another man or his boss.

It is exactly what a man is missing in his life; it is what Michelangelo beautifully painted in “The Creation of Adam”.

A man letting go of his ego and surrendering to God and being able to create.

Where he becomes fully masculine, because he stopped avoiding and negating his feminine core and accepted it, and started to protect this soft femininity and vulnerability with his masculine strength.

And by this acceptance, by the allowance that his emotions can flow through his body without force and stiffness, is the moment a man starts to fully live and is able to experience his greatest gifts.

Which is a divine blessing.

Rest in peace, Dad. I love you.

Thanks for reading.

Jeff

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